Pauly James

Taking. one. deep. breath.

*inhales*

This expression thing aint easy.

Crumbling.

Immediately, retreating. Into myself. Shutting down.

Day 1: Uncomfortable, successful.

Day 2: Uncomfortable, disastrous.

Day 3: Bed.

Phone on silent. Now, airplane mode. Wait: Call barring, on.

Do I feel like a creative person? Yes.

Maybe that’s what all…

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Lots of writing.

Not here. At least not yesterday.

Instead, in real paper form.

Beginning, The Artist’s Way.

(You’re not meant to see my ‘Morning Pages’, apparently).

Though I’ll still continue adding here — to continue practicing the habit of expressing what’s on my mind without judgement from those who…

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I can appreciate the lure of alcoholism, drugs, sex…

When you’re trying to escape, you’re just desperately trying to feel. something. different.

Or something at all.

Or nothing at all.

Me, now, it’s this numbness. This blank. dull. existence.

It feels impossible to break free.

For moments, maybe. Though temporary.

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Pauly James

Pauly James

practicing writing more to unlock my creativity and ‘inner artist’ | maybe we’ll both learn something here.